There’s a reason for the popularity of artists like Summer Walker. Sza, Ari, Summer— they’re not just women we want to be. They’re women we actually are. An era of black and notably femme voices in R&B have been singing us into new lessons of vulnerability, intimacy, financial stability, as well as new depths of physical and emotional love. Their music is a long-awaited mirror, the representation we’d spent so much time longing for that when it arrived, we recognized it immediately. These artists challenge years of the over-talked lived experiences of Black women’ tropes concerning an inability to “turn a hoe into a housewife,” good old slut-shaming, and the struggles that come when you try to juggle a tough girl persona, rapping how you don’t give a shit what They say, even though a tiny secret part of you really does. We crave these songs. They usher you through all those sensitive nights in your bedroom with the window open and the lights off; with the candles and the white sage and the weed burning on high as moonlight glints off your plant leaves and gem stones. They have become an integral part of the self-care ritual, without us ever noticing. After being brutalized by the unrealistic standards of Black Girl Magic, of the Strong Black Woman, at work, at home, and every other place except our headphones, we can retreat into the embrace of musicians who truly understand us. They are mega-sirens, witnessing us with every plucked guitar string, every sultry, smoothly drawled, Neo-Soul note. They understand us. They see us. So, how come we can’t see them? Mic/Getty ImagesAmong star-crossed love songs about ain’t shit niggas, and ballads about bills that have the audacity not to pay themselves, our oracles are highlighting a struggle even less talked about. One we all share. The big one: mental wellness. Even in viewing the Miseducation of Lauryn Hill, the insurmountable pressure placed on Black women artists to bare their souls to an unforgiving world is evident. Her 2001 MTV Unplugged 2.0 album comes to mind. We see a young Lauryn sitting on a stool onstage, clutching a guitar, crying, explaining herself: "I had created this public persona, this public illusion, and it held me hostage. I couldn't be a real person, because you're too afraid of what your public will say. At that point, I had to do some dying." There is no protection from the barbed words of esteemed critics, demanding business standards from emotional artistry. The Wall Street Journal sliced into her performance, essentially labeling it as a breakdown, forcing her to retreat from the stigmas of mental health. The pattern has circled like a vulture time and time again, its shadow haunting our favorite Black women artists: Nina Simone, Whitney Houston, Mariah Carey, and many others who have suffered in silence. In 2018, when Sza’s voice was reported damaged, she tweeted “I jus wanna be left alone my priorities are fucked up. They been fucked up. I need space goodbye.” This is just one example of the extenuating circumstances that our favorite artists have to heal from, and that we in turn, must recognize. And, that goes beyond physical struggle. Last night, Summer Walker broke from that pattern. Rather than let herself succumb to the pressures of an overzealous fan-base, she confronted her feelings of doubt and discomfort, turning to Instagram to share them with the same people she was brave enough to witness.
“I truly appreciate all the support and love. As you know, I have been very open about my struggle with social anxiety. I want to continue to be healthy and to make music for y'all, so I have decided to cut down some of the dates on the tour. I hope you all can understand. I'm grateful for every single one of you, and I hope that you understand that wellness/mental health is important. All cancelled dates will be refunded asap. Thank you. 🙏🏽🖤” But, we didn’t understand. Instead, the same people she shared her spirit with fired back like they were under personal attack. It isn’t enough that the money was refunded. It isn’t enough that a new artist felt overwhelmed by the pace of her tour and used her agency to better control it. It isn’t enough that she cared so much about her fans that she shared information about her social anxiety, trusting them to understand her need for rest. It won’t ever be enough until that traditional standard of icon is delivered: when she’s on stage at her final show, having known for months that she didn’t feel prepared. It won’t be enough until she’s reached her limit. I mean, as long as she’s delivered her tour to the audience, who cares what burden she’s left with? Just like that, we, the fans, underestimate the weight of stardom that has pressured and ruined many of the Black woman artists we claim to love, but never truly support. Self-care is not selfish. Self-care is the tool that defeats self-destruction. It isn’t anyone else’s job to push or pull you beyond your limit. Beyond all the themes of loving on men who don’t have any sense, this constant pursuit of self-love and protection, especially regarding mental health, is the piece of mirror that we haven’t been using. Instead of consistently viewing Summer and her peers as our witnesses, we also need to return the favor, and witness them. Our patronage is not our only form of support, or even our most valuable. It’s respecting artists’ wishes not to be hugged or touched, or even being the only encouraging comment in a sea of furious complaints. Sometimes, you don’t feel good as hell. Sometimes you only 13% That Bitch. Sometimes you’re a Lukewarm Girl: you’re Broke in your New Apartment, got no Motivation, and you really don’t feel like you’re in Ctrl. We should recognize and respect that feeling the best. After all, it is our lived experiences that these artists are witnessing in the first place. Works Cited https://www.mic.com/articles/124371/nearly-20-years-ago-lauryn-hill-made-an-album-so-perfect-it-nearly-ruined-her-life https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/6wqx5n/nina-simone-essay-what-happened-miss-simone-netflix-review https://www.billboard.com/articles/columns/pop/8458440/sza-voice-permanently-injured-swollen-vocal-cords https://www.hot97.com/news/hot-97-now/its-over-summer-walker-cancels-rest-her-tour-due-social-anxiety
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